Things that scare me

I have to confess I am very scared of what's to come. Some of my worries have died off a bit, some have increased. And it's not labour itself, it is more about the child. And the fact that you have no control over what will come out. In case you are wondering, Yes, my name is CK and im a control freak. I dont have a single day in which id not freak about something - it is just in me, I promise. Loss of control makes me very nervous.

Anyhow, i know this list will grow, but for now here are some of the things that frighten me (and i do note how superficial these all are!)

1. What if the child is as difficult as the mother, or even worse, her father?

2. What if this kid is lazy, doesn't work as hard as either of us?

3. What if I don't bond with the kid from the first moment? I mean, my grandmother, who was a saint, and who would not walk in the street with my mum without grabbing her arm (thats how possessive we are in this family), yes that saint of a lady, bless her heart, told me one day, many years ago " your mother, when she was borne, she was sooooo ugly, she had been born with a ventouse so her head was a bit weird" or another pearl " your mother screamed her head off so much, somedays i though shall i through her off the window". Thank God she never did, and thank God for her sense of humour and her long life (she lived to 90). This also came from the lady who advised me to wear neck mosturiser from very early age. She always knew better!

4. What if the kid wants a pink freaking tutu? What if her favourite colour is pink, shall i just shoot my brains?

5. If the kid is hit by another kid in kindergarten , how do you not tell her to hit the hell of the other little bugger? (Bad, bad mother, I know)

6. What if the kid doesnt like photography????

7. (Worst than 6) what if she does like it , but she shoots Nikon rather than Canon? (Can I send her back please?)

8. Oh God please make this kid like cats. Otherwise i may have to send the kid back, which may be a bit of a problem.

This is all very consuming.....